Since the last time I spoke to you things were very different, I was living at my grandparents in Chester and I went home for the weekend before Brighton to see my parents and just as I was about to go back to Chester I got a phone call from Birmingham Hospital saying they wanted me to come in immediately to run some tests to see whether it was possible that my liver was the cause of me feeling unwell.
It's been a few months since then but I was in hospital for about a month and I had all kind of tests, painful ones and not so painful ones. I was going nuts without internet and I was fed up of being stuck in there day after day. The conclusion we came to, well the doctors, was that I needed a liver transplant and that without it I would slowly deteriorate.
All of this broke me, I went into panic mode and I think I still am in panic mode, I am always worrying about the phone calling and wondering if that will be the call telling me it's my turn for my transplant. I have a packed suitcase under my bed ready to go for when that call does come but till then all I can do is sit and wait, oh and worry... A LOT! I often have nightmares about the operation and I wake up in floods of tears and then there are days when I just can't fall asleep.
My health at the moment is very poor, I spend most days in bed and I think most people don't quite understand how bad I really am. Let me try and paint a picture for you. I find going downstairs ok, going upstairs and I need a five minute sit down. I can't put my own socks on, I can't get out the bath myself, I can't cook my own food, the list goes on...
Anyway hopefully I can blog fairly decently from my bed.
So from my bed to you, bye bye
V xxx
PS. I'm back at home in Herefordshire with my parents
It's been a few months since then but I was in hospital for about a month and I had all kind of tests, painful ones and not so painful ones. I was going nuts without internet and I was fed up of being stuck in there day after day. The conclusion we came to, well the doctors, was that I needed a liver transplant and that without it I would slowly deteriorate.
All of this broke me, I went into panic mode and I think I still am in panic mode, I am always worrying about the phone calling and wondering if that will be the call telling me it's my turn for my transplant. I have a packed suitcase under my bed ready to go for when that call does come but till then all I can do is sit and wait, oh and worry... A LOT! I often have nightmares about the operation and I wake up in floods of tears and then there are days when I just can't fall asleep.
My health at the moment is very poor, I spend most days in bed and I think most people don't quite understand how bad I really am. Let me try and paint a picture for you. I find going downstairs ok, going upstairs and I need a five minute sit down. I can't put my own socks on, I can't get out the bath myself, I can't cook my own food, the list goes on...
Anyway hopefully I can blog fairly decently from my bed.
So from my bed to you, bye bye
V xxx
PS. I'm back at home in Herefordshire with my parents
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