Change...

Since the last time I spoke to you things were very different, I was living at my grandparents in Chester and I went home for the weekend before Brighton to see my parents and just as I was about to go back to Chester I got a phone call from Birmingham Hospital saying they wanted me to come in immediately to run some tests to see whether it was possible that my liver was the cause of me feeling unwell.

It's been a few months since then but I was in hospital for about a month and I had all kind of tests, painful ones and not so painful ones. I was going nuts without internet and I was fed up of being stuck in there day after day. The conclusion we came to, well the doctors, was that I needed a liver transplant and that without it I would slowly deteriorate.

All of this broke me, I went into panic mode and I think I still am in panic mode, I am always worrying about the phone calling and wondering if that will be the call telling me it's my turn for my transplant. I have a packed suitcase under my bed ready to go for when that call does come but till then all I can do is sit and wait, oh and worry... A LOT! I often have nightmares about the operation and I wake up in floods of tears and then there are days when I just can't fall asleep.

My health at the moment is very poor, I spend most days in bed and I think most people don't quite understand how bad I really am. Let me try and paint a picture for you. I find going downstairs ok, going upstairs and I need a five minute sit down. I can't put my own socks on, I can't get out the bath myself, I can't cook my own food, the list goes on...

Anyway hopefully I can blog fairly decently from my bed.

 So from my bed to you, bye bye

V xxx

PS. I'm back at home in Herefordshire with my parents

This Is Me

How do I begin...

How are you supposed to begin?

There aren't any rules about how to do this so it's just me doing it my way.

I'm not writing to anybody, there isn't anybody following me and I'm not aware of anybody reading this, I'm writing this for me, because I want to. It'll take my mind off things when things aren't as good. I love blogs, I love vlogs! I watch and read them daily, then it finally occurred to me that I could try it too.

So hi.

I'm Verity, I'm 20, I just turned 20 and struggling to cope with the fact I'm still pretty clueless what to do with my life.

A basic history of me is that I'm in and out of hospital all the time, I was born with an unnamed illness which affects my immune system. Which in turn affects other things. But, I manage.

I have lived in Belgium for 5 years, so I speak fluent Dutch and when I came back to the UK I did my A-Level whilst I was in year 10. I got an A*. Other than that though I haven't been the luckiest with my education. I struggled through my GCSEs getting good results but I was very stressed and looking back I wasn't all that well.
It all went down hill from there, I started college and pretty soon after I was taken into hospital with low oxygen levels. I soon fell behind with my work and became too breathless and exhausted to keep up with my friends.
I tried a part time accounting course the following year and even the one day a week was too much.


So what about me now?

Well, I live in the countryside with my mum, dad and brother. I'm a young farmer, which basically means I KNOW how to party! I don't go much though because I just can't keep up but I won't let people see me being weak. I was working at the National Trust but I want to move on and do an at home university course. Having not studied for so long I actually miss it!
I want to blog about my experiences of living in the country. I also have a MASSIVE love for make up! Every penny I save is towards make-up, so cheers to living at home forever!
Hopefully along the way you will get to know me a little better.